Entry 151: Time to go home

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karna

>We can’t open it yet
[>] For the sake of the right future

For the sake of the right future. There are other reasons, but this is our greatest objective.

Rin :: You’ve reached Sakura’s wall right? As expected with can’t get any image from the Core Zone, but we can figure out its relative positioning. Sakura — we can trust the rest to you, right? Remove that wall for us.

Sakura :: Yes, of course. You fulfilled the conditions I set. All that’s left is for me to execute the plan. Miss Kishinami…Please place your hand on that wall. I’m going to access the shield through you.

…The time has come upon us. I breathe deeply, and lay my hand on the final wall.

Sakura :: Ah…! C, contact confirmed — Reformatting statue with the soul as base, around the main axes of spiritual analysis, behaviorism, human psychology…U, ugh…definition, completed. Concluded, from the Sakura-series AI, mental image map — Based on equal authority, executing disa, ssembly —!

The wall made in Sakura’s image is being dismantled…From Sakura’s voice I can tell she’s enduring some pain. If this wall is “Sakura’s heart,” then that would mean —

Sakura :: Uu…remov, ing, Spinal Cord…Ha, ah…!

That means. She’s tearing up her heart, isn’t she?

Sakura :: *panting*…Unlock, successful…Now, the path to the Core Zone is open…

Rin :: …At last. Not even light will go on through here. All our readings are coming out “unknown.”The area past this place may be irreversible. A one-way road to the Core Zone. After entering, you’ll be absorbed.

Rani :: In a sense, things approach the law of the observed universe ahead. Time accumulated in a unidirectional fashion. This will be our final transmission, but…may the fortunes of battle go with you. We will be waiting for you on the near side.

[Hakuno nods.]

Rin :: So that’s how it is. Sorry, but we’ll have to have you go in first. When we confirm you’ve gotten in, we’ll direct all the power we’ve go your way. That should help a little. Well, this’ll be my final message, but keep it together, okay? I won’t accept any falling down at the last hurdle.

…The voice transmission won’t reach me anymore. The wave of quasi-spiritual particles flowing from the Core Zone is making all oversight difficult. I don’t know if they can see me over their monitors, but I nod back to Rin and the others, saying “Leave it to me.” And now — Sakura!

Sakura :: Y, yes…! Let me take care of it! The road to the Moon Cell Core Zone — Sakura Wall, coming, down! Senpai, be careful…!

[The wall explodes.]

The last gate opens. The flow of time surges toward the conclusion. —Beyond this point—is BB!

[We must run forward down the stairs toward the upside down tree. And through a gate. Scene cuts to the student council room.]

Rin :: Well, that’s as far as we go. Monitors out, transmission out. We’ve got nothing else to do.

Rani :: Yes. Good work, Miss Tohsaka. We only have one more job left to do.

Rin :: Okay. Let’s split up the work and get things in order. Rani, if you could take the student council room please. I’ll take care of the school building.

Rani :: Understood. All power and memory will be directed to the protective effect on Miss Hakuno.

[The student council room vanishes image by image.]

Rin :: Looks like Sakura left already. Now it’s just us. Maintaining the council room does use memory. We don’t have the luxury of sitting around to see if she wins or loses.

Rani :: An admirable show of courage, Miss Tohsaka. Thanks to your actions, I too can hold back my fear.

Rin :: …Hmph. Sorry it’s a show then. Since this place is gone, we’ve got no choice but to go back to the near side. That’s scary. At this point if those two don’t win, we’ve got no future ahead of us. The idea of going back to the near side and dying instantly on being drawn back into a body dying of pleasure on Earth — I can’t laugh that off.

Rani :: …heehee. You’re not even really thinking that. Your compassion truly is difficult to understand. We believe in her victory. And that’s why we’re afraid. For when we return to the near side. After all. According to my memories, our next opponent there is —

Rin :: …Ah, so it really is like that for you too. This decides it then. It’s gonna be hard…

Rani :: I wonder. In the case that the Moon Cell returns to normal, all events from the far side of the moon will cease to have been. Our encounters here, the time we spent to together, the things we laughed over, all of it. I imagine it will be forgotten, as one “way things could have happened.”

Rin :: I see. It was also just one long dream. As soon as the future is safe, everything that happened on the far side will be wiped clean.

Rani :: Yes, unfortunately. Or perhaps it should be considered fortunate?

Rin :: — All right. It’s tasteless to put things into words at times like this. It’ll be my limit soon enough. Mind if I go first, Rani?

Rani :: How standoffish. If we’re making our exit, let’s do so together. And we’ll leave the rest to her.

Rin :: Okay. Then — yeah. Goodbye, Rani VIII. We made good friends, didn’t we?

Rani :: Yes. And the very best of staff.

Rin :: Thanks — and good work all this time. Let’s meet again in the Holy Grail War!

[Black out.]

—and so, I observe.

The protection of the old school building has vanished. The “bubble covering the school building” maintained by managerial AI S-6-01 has vanished, and all resources that comprised in have been transferred to Hakuno Kishinami’s Servant. The shelter facility illicitly salvaged and repaired by managerial AI S-6-02 — the “old school building” has been swallowed by the vortex of karma, imaginary numbers.

[The storage closet appears.]

All that remains is a single handful of real numbers. Left behind in kindness by Rin Tohsaka, Rani VIII, and managerial AI S-6-01. The storage room inhabited by Jinako Karigiri.

Karna :: The noises from outside have gotten more intense. It’s like we’re in the midst of a storm. We might expect to be crushed under the flood.

Jinako :: Gh…! Uu, gh…! I’d really like it if you didn’t say things like that! Why d’you always have to say one word too many, Karna!

Karna :: — I see. I’d thought I was more quiet, relatively, but to think it was just one word too many…I’m sorry. Why didn’t you give me such pertinent advise earlier?

Jinako :: Just how airheaded are you! Ahh, the wall’s rumlbing! I’m gonna die…I’m gonna die, this time for—No, I’m gonna die this time again! I’m gonna be dead, in place like this, and no one’ll ever ever know…!

Jinako Karigiri’s lamentations are correct. With her death approaching close at hand, her surface thoughts are becoming fixed in a pattern of fear. …it is something that I, having been cut off from the concept of physical death, can no longer understand.

Jinako :: *whimpering*…B, but, there’s nothing I can do…This is all there is…Even if I leave I’m dead, and I can’t look cool like everybody else, so I, I, this is— it’s right for me to just stay here, like a cat no one ever really knows what happened to…I mean, I’ve never done anything anyway. Not when my parents died, not when I stopped going to school, not when I became a Master…! I never did anything, so I’m nothing! For someone like me, with nothing special about her, staying locked in here forever is just perfect…!

That is Jinako Karigiri’s decision. That is Jinako Karigiri’s wish. That is Jinako Karigiri’s fate. That result is just as I simulated.

—However.

Karna :: — No. That’s wrong. Your life was just unlucky.

Jinako :: Huh?

—However. The golden Servant judged that that was wrong.

Jinako :: Karna…?

Karna :: Jinako. Everything outside is gone. Nothing remains of the old school building. It seems the other Masters have returned to where they should be. Everything has vanished. There’s nothing here. Even now — do you still want to stay here?

Jinako :: Th, that — that’s such an unfair way to say it! Not even I want to be in a place like this! If I could go home, of course I’d wanna go! But, but, this is all I have — there aren’t any retrys here!

That’s right. There are no retrys. Jinako Karigiri is a Master. Once she returns to the near side, her punishment for abandoning the Holy Grail War awaits her. Fearing death, she has no choice but to be suspended here “just before dying.”

Karna :: No…That’s wrong too. Ah, hm…how should I explain, this is hard for me…With my power, I can’t push you into the winning place in the Holy Grail War, but a retry, I can give you that. I can withdraw you from the Holy Grail War and send you back to your body on Earth.

Jinako :: Huh —- huh?

— Impossible. What is that Servant saying.

Jinako :: Ka, Karna…What are you saying? Even for the Moon Cell, that would be —

Karna :: I can do that. Look at my body carefully. Doesn’t it look like something’s missing?

Jinako :: Something missing…Ah. Now that you mention it, you’re…you’ve got a skinny body type, Karna. Umm, when we made our contract, I get the feeling you were a little heavier…something thicker…sort of…Ah—! That’s right, the golden armor! It was in your info, that “armor that repels everything,” you don’t have it?!

Karna :: …so you finally noticed? I mean to say, not noticing that fact, even I have a few words of complaint for you. Thanks to that, none of the wounds I received in the battle with Hakuno Kishinami and her Servant have healed. To be honest, I’ve been on the verge of death ever since then.

Jinako :: Wha, whaaa—!? W, why don’t you have it?! If you had that armor we wouldn’t even have lost to Hakunon, would we!?

Karna :: I used it on you.

Jinako :: Eh?

Karna :: While you had your eyes closed and your ears covered, the school building from the near side coming down around you, I put it on you, my mistress. My armor is the majesty of the sun, which even the gods cannot destroy. No matter how powerful the Moon Cell may be, as long as it remains the moon, the light of the sun will not be diminished. Which means, how do I say this — in the world of the near side, you’re not dead, Jinako. When the Holy Grail War ends, you’ll just return automatically to Earth, the only survivor of the Holy Grail War.

Such — things, can, not — No, the theory is sound. The Moon Cell confirmed the destruction of the school, and Jinako Karigiri, who was stuck there, was judged lost and that designation was accepted. So if she’s still living — there’s nothing the Moon Cell can do to her. And then when the Grail War she participated in is over, her soul will be returned to Earth —!

This must be why Jinako Karigiri was an unknown quantity for both managerial AI S-6-01 and myself. From the beginning, she was the first and final spectator to the Holy Grail War on the Moon Cell—

Jinako :: Wha—whawha, wha—Why didn’t you tell me that at the beginning?!

Karna :: I missed the right time to tell you. So, do you want to go back?

Jinako :: Tha—That’s—That’s obvious, isn’t it! I wanna go home! I wanna go home, I wanna go home, I wanna go home! I haven’t even done anything yet!

Karna :: — Good. I’m glad this time at least I didn’t do something uncalled-for.

[He draws his lance and cuts through the storage room, which vanishes into darkness and glowing squares.]

Karna :: This cradle, too, became a cage. Now — you should go back to your home.

Jinako :: Go back…but Karna…? Your…body…it’s sort…really tearing, apart…right?

Karna :: Yes, when we were on the near side, I was annihilated with the destruction of the school building. That’s been confirmed. So now I just have to disappear like this. I said so, didn’t I. That my fate wasn’t to disappear there, on the far side. I had a duty to hand over my armor to you, at the end of the Holy Grail War on the near side.

— what noble words. That Servant is filled with such strong will even I, in my current state, can understand. His will was not to earn gratitude, nor coerce anything from her. They are words of power, without a speck of dirt upon them, declaring only what he believes in his mind is right.

Jinako :: Tha…that can’t be, right…? Saving me…even though you’ll die…?

Karna :: That’s just in hindsight. All that happened was that after saving you, as a consequence, I died. What is it. What aren’t you happy? Your determination to go outside suddenly started to fade. Is something still wrong, Jinako?

Jinako :: I, I mean…it bothers me. It just, this really bothers me! You, you could really have just ignored me! I mean, isn’t that how it is!? You’re a much more amazing person, Karna! And you have much more to regret!

Karna :: No, that’s —

Jinako :: I know! I’m your Master! I know just how horrible life was to you, and just how many things there were you wanted, I know! Even when Hakunon asked for your help! I could tell just fine how much you wanted to help! E, even I have my pride…! I know that really it should be a great person like you who gets to survive, Karna! So why — why are you saving someone like me. I was never anything special, at all, not one bit. I don’t understand…I’m happy, but I can’t understand!

I agree with Jinako Karigiri’s shouting. Whichever way one examines it, she has no qualifications, and Karna has no impetus. There ought to be some equivalence in saving lives. Someone who is saved must have some value that makes them worth saving. If they don’t, then there is no meaning in extending a helping hand, nothing is to be gained. Like I once was. Like I am now.

Jinako Karigiri has no such karmic fate. She has no glimmer of talent. She has no record of good deeds meriting such reward. Thus, there is no reason for a hero like Karna to save her. According the intelligence patterns of these sense. Unless you are special, no one will save you —

Karna :: …I see. I suppose the more special and outstanding a person is the higher a priority it should be to save them. That’s how people assign value after all. No one takes any notice of people who don’t have anything to offer.

Jinako :: R, right…! That’s why I’m not qualified to be saved by you —

Karna :: But that sort of thinking doesn’t really help me either. I’m not special enough to save special people, you see.

Scarily enough, those words come from the heart. This Servant is an incredibly great hero. I know it. Jinako Karigiri knows it. A hero of charity, acknowledged even by Indra, the king of the gods.

An ill-fated warrior, who even as he was branded evil by artifice, even as everything was taken from him, never once resented the world or its people. And a reflection of this hero says that he was nothing special? That even now that he’s here like this, even if someone thinks he’s special, he’s just another inconsequential “someone.”

Karna :: Jinako. You are my mistress. That’s the whole reason I protected you. However annoying, lazy, or incompetent you might be had nothing to do with it.

Ah — Having barely managed to hang on this long, this space is falling apart. The world she believed in is falling apart. She screams. “There’s no reason I should be saved. There was never any special about me at all —“

Jinako Karigiri is correct. That is what this world is. That is what the minimum qualification for living in this world is. Competing with each other, supporting each other, deceiving each other, hating each other, building, fixing, breaking, consuming, life and death destroying themselves. She dropped out of all of that, the very embodiment of the defector. Unable to become anything special, she cannot bear to continue her worthless existence. …she shouldn’t be able to bear it, but.

Jinako :: Karna…you weren’t buying me, or giving up on me either. You just saved me because you’re my Servant?

Karna :: That’s what I’ve been saying, isn’t it. I’ve never been a good judge of people. They all look the same value to me. Which is why —

Jinako :: You saved some mediocre person like me as if it was just the natural thing to do. So — even if I’m just as no good as I’ve always been, forever?

Karna :: Of course. Even if you’re nothing special, as long as you live, I will continue to be your guardian.

Jinako :: ——

Karna :: Jinako…? Wait, why are you crying. I’m sorry. Was it one word too many again?

Jinako :: …nope, that’s not it. You’re just being much too nice and I was shocked. Protecting me no matter what, not caring even if I’ve useless, it’s like you’re my dad. Like the most indulgent dad ever too.

Karna :: Di, did it really sound like that…? I didn’t mean to do that, but…

Jinako :: Yeah, I know. You’re not trying to coddle me. You believe in me, right? Not in my success, or my life, or any little thing like that. I can’t word it well but, for sure…

…I see. That man believes. Even if people are pitiful or ordinary, he believes in human nature, in living people. …even if they never blossom. Still he has confidence that that seed is precious.

Jinako :: Pretty pathetic isn’t it. I’ve been selfish this whole time and I’m still doing it. But it’s okay. I think I get it. So go ahead and go, Karna. Thanks for everything. Sorry for keeping you. —Please. There’s a version of me still shaking in fear, back in the school. Save her.

Karna :: Got it. It may get a bit rough, but I hope you’ll forgive me.

[He starts to float away.]

Jinako :: By the way, you have it backwards, Karna. You’re always one word too few, not too many. You stop in the middle of what you’re trying to say, so the person you’re talking to misunderstands. [Karna slumps over in response to this.] Make sure you say what you’re thinking properly from now on. No fussing about saying nothing for you~

Karna :: —So that was it? …So that was it…So that…was it…

Jinako :: W, was it really such a shock you had to say it three times?!

Karna :: I’m sorry, this is how I am. I just have a gloomy personality. Thank you for the advice, I’ll take it to heart.

Jinako :: Is that so. Then it’s time for a test. If you’ve got anything left to say, say it now.

Karna :: ——Well then. It doesn’t really need to be said, but that’s what you want, Jinako, then I’ll tell you. Live, Master. Even if you’re a nobody, I’m certain there’s someone waiting for you.

Jinako :: ——

[Karna closes his eyes and flies away into white light.]

And so he rises through the lunar sea. He leave the sea of imaginary numbers, to save Jinako Karigiri where where she lies certain of her own destruction. Even as he falls apart, he shines through the pitch-black sea, like a golden bird soaring through the darkness.

Jinako :: …Welp, there he goes. Don’t I have all the luck. Talk about losing the Servant lottery. You really were way too much for me. — Yeah. Goodbye, Karna. Even if having someone believe in me just makes me feel more weighed down, I was plenty weighed down anyway I guess. …Even if I can’t do anything. At least I have the freedom to do something, I guess—

—And so that area was fully swallowed into the imaginary numbers. I jump to the next area. I’m going to go paint over whatever conscious universe remains. All records and impressions from this space will be deleted. They are unnecessary for my present self. They are a dream I had once in the past. I won’t put them in a library. I won’t give them to the Moon Cell. I’ll describe the final result. With the end of the Holy Grail War, Jinako Karigiri was completely erased. The Moon Cell will never be able to disprove this.